1. |
Holiday Hold It (Remix)
03:43
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"Holiday Hold It" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
Don't think about the faucet you can't turn off
Don't think about a waterfall splashing on the rocks
Don't think about the sprinkler on a hot summer day
Just stop wiggling and try not to sway
The line's really long (like really, really long)
You're gonna have to need to hold it forever
The line's moving slow (like really, really slow)
Take a deep breath and keep it together
Don't wet your pants on Santa
Hold it 'til they snap that pic
Uh-oh! Can't let anybody know
Don't pee your pants on Santa
I promise it'll end real quick
Uh-oh! You've really gotta go
Don't think about the shower you took this morning
Don't think about the ocean or rivers (so boring!)
Don't think about letting just a little bit out
You've got to just hold it and try not to shout
The line's really long (like really, really long)
You're gonna have to need to hold it forever
The line's moving slow (like really, really slow)
Take a deep breath and keep it together
Don't wet your pants on Santa
Hold it 'til they snap that pic
Uh-oh! Can't let anybody know
Don't pee your pants on Santa
I promise it'll end real quick
Uh-oh! You've really gotta go
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2. |
Fake Blood For Christmas
02:20
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"Fake Blood For Christmas" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
Got myself some tinsel
I think it really rocks
I just finished shopping for
Cookies, lights and socks
My house smells like fruitcake
It's toasty and its warm
I've some Jell-O setting up
In my tree-shaped Jell-O form
Well I'm shopping for presents, I'm taking a guess
Will it get there in time if I use UPS?
Oh, what am I thinking? I know what to get!
What everybody wants, yeah it's a sure bet, oh
Everybody's getting fake blood for Christmas
Everybody's getting fake blood
You can cross it off of your Christmas wish-list
The present that's never a dud!
Everybody's getting fake blood for Christmas
Everybody's getting fake blood
You can die happy 'cause everybody's getting fake blood
Fake blood!
Got myself some ornaments
And a real live Christmas tree
I just finished baking stuff
Enough for a family or three
All my friends are on their way
We'll have a great party
The mistletoe hung by the door
I hope no one's tardy
Well I'm shopping for presents, I'm taking a guess
Will it get there in time if I use UPS?
Oh, what am I thinking? I know what to get!
What everybody wants, yeah it's a sure bet, oh
Everybody's getting fake blood for Christmas
Everybody's getting fake blood
You can cross it off of your Christmas wish-list
The present that's never a dud!
Everybody's getting fake blood for Christmas
Everybody's getting fake blood
You can die happy 'cause everybody's getting fake blood
Fake blood!
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3. |
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"Christmas Makes Me Want To Die" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
Cross me off your shopping list
Christmas makes me want to slit my wrists
When I see the snowfall I get pissed
'Cause Christmas makes me want to die
Somebody bought me a trucker hat
Somebody bought me "Jingle Cats"
Somebody bought me a yoga mat
I got everybody socks
Christmas makes me want to die
Why, you ask? I'll tell you why
I'm broke, I'm pissed and I want to cry
Yeah, Christmas makes me want to die
I think I got tinsel in my eye
Music's skipping on the hi-fi
The neighbor with the baby wants to drop by
Yeah, Christmas makes me want to die
Lets all watch our dad get drunk
He smells worse than the Christmas trunk
Nobody's gonna eat that mincemeat pie
Christmas makes me want to die
Somebody bought me a trucker hat
Somebody bought me "Jingle Cats"
Somebody bought me a yoga mat
I got everybody socks
Christmas makes me want to die
Why, you ask? I'll tell you why
I'm broke, I'm pissed and I want to cry
Yeah, Christmas makes me want to die
I think I got tinsel in my eye
Music's skipping on the hi-fi
The neighbor with the baby wants to drop by
Yeah, Christmas makes me want to
Die
Die
Die
Die
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4. |
Christmas Is In December
02:31
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"Christmas Is In December" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
I just got back from taking the best vacation of my life
I went camping, I went fishing, I used a tent, I used a knife
I just got home yesterday, it's time to clean and nap
But what's this in the mail for me? An ad for Christmas wrap!
Christmas is in December
Not June or May at all
Christmas is in December
That comes way after fall
Christmas is in December
That's a fact that is well known!
Christmas is in December, so
Just leave me the hell alone
Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Merry Christmas
I just bought some candy, to give to kids with masks
Its not really fancy, it was on the shelf by the Christmas snacks
It seems like Christmas lights go up the seconds folks are able
But don't poor eggnog in my mug before the turkey's on the table!
Christmas is in December
Not June or May at all
Christmas is in December
That comes way after fall
Christmas is in December
That's a fact that is well known!
Christmas is in December, so
Just leave me the hell alone
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5. |
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"Kitty Don't Eat That Tinsel" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
I'm so happy we got our Christmas tree
Let's put those lights up as quickly as can be
Now I'll add ornaments I made when I was three
Next it's time for tinsel. Oh no! Bad kitty!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
You know it's bad for you!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
That's not what kitties do!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
Just leave it on the Christmas tree
Don't you eat that tinsel, kitty
Please won't you listen to me
Christmas is coming and it's coming up soon
Gentle breeze filled with a Christmas tune
Hope we can celebrate without impending doom
Or spending it in the kitty emergency room!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
You know it's bad for you!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
That's not what kitties do!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
Just leave it on the Christmas tree
Don't you eat that tinsel, kitty
Please won't you listen to me
Don't you eat that tinsel, kitty
Don't you eat that tinsel
Don't you eat that tinsel, kitty
Don't you eat that tinsel
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
You know it's bad for you!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
That's not what kitties do!
Kitty don't eat that tinsel!
Just leave it on the Christmas tree
Don't you eat that tinsel, kitty
Please won't you listen to me
Everybody!
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6. |
Peppermint In Everything
02:11
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"Peppermint In Everything" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
Hey there kids, gather 'round
And hand me the Peppermint Schnapps
Do you see this gina and tonic?
Now it's a "Snowman On The Rocks"
Just take something everyday
And add a shot of mint
Now it's filled with Christmas cheer
Refreshing, isn't it?
Peppermint in everything
It's in cookies, drinks and beer
Peppermint in everything
It's taste is crystal clear
Peppermint in everything
Must mean Christmas is here
Peppermint in everything
The winter taste we hold so dear
You can't take a snack to the office
Without some candy canes (mm-hmmm!)
Crush 'em up, sprinkle 'em on
Guaranteed none will remain (that's right!)
Take a trip to the corner latte stand
The special's a "Snow Plow" (what's that?)
Doesn't matter just what you order
Peppermint will wind up inside somehow
Peppermint in everything
It's in cookies, drinks and beer
Peppermint in everything
It's taste is crystal clear
Peppermint in everything
Must mean Christmas is here
Peppermint in everything
The winter taste we hold so dear
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7. |
Holiday Hold It
02:37
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"Holiday Hold It" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)
Don't think about the faucet you can't turn off
Don't think about a waterfall splashing on the rocks
Don't think about the sprinkler on a hot summer day
Just stop wiggling and try not to sway
The line's really long (like really, really long)
You're gonna have to need to hold it forever
The line's moving slow (like really, really slow)
Take a deep breath and keep it together
Don't wet your pants on Santa
Hold it 'til they snap that pic
Uh-oh! Can't let anybody know
Don't pee your pants on Santa
I promise it'll end real quick
Uh-oh! You've really gotta go
Don't think about the shower you took this morning
Don't think about the ocean or rivers (so boring!)
Don't think about letting just a little bit out
You've got to just hold it and try not to shout
The line's really long (like really, really long)
You're gonna have to need to hold it forever
The line's moving slow (like really, really slow)
Take a deep breath and keep it together
Don't wet your pants on Santa
Hold it 'til they snap that pic
Uh-oh! Can't let anybody know
Don't pee your pants on Santa
I promise it'll end real quick
Uh-oh! You've really gotta go
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8. |
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9. |
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10. |
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Peroxide Mocha
Peroxide Mocha is Rachel Picard & Pete Ellison. Petting cats and getting paid since 1996.
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